Crazy Mommy

My daughter is highly entertaining; Even when she’s supposed to be sleeping! Upstairs in her bedroom I don’t have cable so I am just always watching movies or whatever TV seasons I have on DVD. I’m currently watching Friends for the fifth time through and my daughter has come to know and love the theme song in these ten months. She could be sound asleep - where I can lift up her arm and it drops - the theme song for Friends will begin to play and she wakes up, sits up, looks over at the TV and bounces back and forth - dancing. I try and remember to mute now when the theme begins but sometimes I forget.

The other day I was typing on the laptop which sits on our coffee table and my daughter came up and stood right between both of my arms while I typed. I looked over at my husband to talk to him about something and when I looked back the “shift” key was missing. Both of us couldn’t believe it and just sat with our jaws open. I had to pry it out of her fingers then tried to put it back onto the keyboard but it was broken. I let it rest in the spot where it should be, hoping it would still work; it wobbled back and forth each time I used it. Then when I went up to shower my husband said he looked down and the “shift” key was missing and when he looked over at our daughter there she was flinging it around with a big smile. He said one minute she was there and the next she wasn’t. So we put the key in a drawer and don’t use the button anymore. Luckily keyboards have two shift keys but when you type over 85+ words a minute and you’ve been using the home row keys since Jr. High it can slow you down a bit; getting a little frustrating. It’s okay though, I love every second of being a mom. She’s so great to have around.

So American Idol premiered this week. Typically my husband hates the show and has a fit when ever I watch but this year it’s different because we have our daughter. She’s ten months old and has discovered the joys of music. I never noticed how many commercials have music in them until she started dancing to them all. Then watching American Idol she was a great judge (most of the time) for the good singers because the good singers she’d dance to and the bad ones she would just stare at. Sometimes when the singers would really belt out a high note she’d even try and copy them.

She has been practicing walking a lot more. My mother-in-law bought her a  little rolling chair where the seat lifts up and it becomes a walker; She pushes it all over the living room.

This morning I was sitting on the floor playing with her toys, trying to get her interested so she’d stop pounding on the keyboard for the computer. She let go of the coffee table and took about four steps towards me and her toys. She even danced around to the toy I started up that plays music. I could tell she was so proud of herself too because she had this grin on her face and she giggled a little.

Something I miss from the first few months was her “old man” face. When she’d first wake up after a nap she’d pucker up those lips, put her hands behind her head and stretch. She looked like a little old man and as unattractive as it sounds it was too cute and now that she’s a little older she doesn’t do that much any more.

Well I knew it would happen, was hoping it wouldn’t but it did. My husband caught my stomach flu. I can’t stop apologizing to him and he keeps getting angry at me for doing it. ha ha I am not so much apologizing for getting him sick but the fact that he did get sick. It was a horrible flu and I don’t wish it on anyone and since I know what he’s going to be going through that is why I’m apologizing.

I did continue to breastfeed while I was sick with the stomach flu so I’m hoping Em wont get it. I think she probably would have shown signs already if she was going to get it. She’s been crankier than usual but I think she’s teething more than usual.

Here is a little bit about me, how I feel and what I believe.  What does it have to do with being a mom? Everything.

I think people have the wrong idea when it comes to religion. Even those who say they believe in God and want to follow his word sometimes get it wrong. God is loving, not just to those who follow him; he loves everyone. I cringe when I see people holding up signs that say things like “God hates fags” or when I hear about an abortion bombing. God doesn’t hate the sinner he dislikes the sin. Hate wont bring someone to God and two wrongs don’t make a right. The best way to get someones attention and to make them hear you is to hear them! Before you open your mouth, you should open your ears, open your heart; listen to what they have to say and what they believe. Put yourself in their shoes and try and understand where they come from. Once you’ve done this then know your audience and don’t lecture. Understanding that you’re no better than them and acting no better than them is also important. People wont listen to you if you lecture and act better than them, it’s a turn off and you’ve just created a wall between you and them.

Something I didn’t understand or realize until I read it in one of the Left Behind books; no sin is too great for God to forgive.  All sins can be forgiven and all sins are equal. Here on Earth some sins are worse than others but in Gods eyes no sin is worse than another; a sin is a sin. It took me a while to understand that and I think it’s important for everyone to realize.

I bring this up for so many reasons I can’t begin to explain. God is my life; I go to him for everything good and bad. I pray all the time that he will help me be the mother and wife he wants me to be. I pray for the strength and courage to do what is right every day. Before I drive off somewhere I pray that he will protect me and whoever else may be in the car, that we will arrive to our location safely.

I know I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be. I have a temper which I’m ashamed of. I have very little control over my mouth when I get angry and I am ashamed and pray about this all the time. The only thing in my life which I let my friends pressure me into was cursing and I regret it. I fear my daughters first words will be a curse word and this scares me because if my daughter slips and says something in front of my grandma or at a grocery store, how does that make me look as a mother? My husband is guilty of this too. Sometimes I swear he has turrets because he screams out random curse words for no real reason. (I think he thinks he’s funny.)

My job as a mother is to teach my daughter all about life; God is my life.  I will teach her not to hate and that no one is perfect. I’ll do my best to not let her get attached to material things because when we die they don’t go with us; they also wont get us into heaven.

I found a web site once on accident that explains why Jesus died for our sins. It’s written by a former agnostic (someone who believes it’s impossible to know whether or not there is a God.) and it’s kind of long but worth reading. “Why Did Jesus Die?”

Yesterday my daughter turned ten months old. She still isn’t walking on her own but practices all the time; guiding herself with the coffee table or the couches. The weekend after Christmas she learned to wave hi and bye which was a fun treat. We went up north to visit my husbands side of the family and when we’d go out to eat somewhere she loved to wave to everyone around us. She also learned that when music is on that’s when you dance. Not exactly sure were she learned this one because both my husband and I have no rhythm and so we don’t typically dance. I have a purple dancing monster that sings “mahna mahna” and she loves to watch him dance and sing, she even copies his hand movements.

I can’t believe that in two months she will be one year old. I look back on the photos I’ve taken from month to month and it’s so weird to see how much she’s changed. My husband laughs at me because I have already started planning her first birthday.